It totally feels to early to me to decorate for Christmas, but we went to Silver Dollar City on Saturday and it is lit up to the max with Christmas lights. It made me in the mood to decorate just the inside of my house. But I did'nt. I woke up late for church on Sunday, but we did make it to the last twenty minutes of Sacrament. I went to Primary with Seiler, because he has been getting bored with it lately and acting out. Yesturday he was a perfect angel, helping out the teacher, singing songs, folding his arms, sharing crayons, answering questions, it could have all been for my benefit but I was proud of him. By the time we said good bye to daddy (he is the new Ward Financial Clerk & has to stay after church every Sunday), and made it home I warmed up left overs and we all took a nap. We woke up when daddy came come played a few games, watched a few movies, made dinner and went to bed. So I did get around to asking Brandon if he would get the christmas stuff out of the attic, he said "Uhhhhhh, let's wait another week." Good thing. I was too tired to take down fall and put up Christmas.
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Well, Sis. Brake, Sis. Pinkston, Sis. Barker, Sis. Stearns, Sis. Robinson, Sis. Wiskur, and I have my suspicions about a few others that haven't announced yet.
I have had every single one of those thoughts multiple times a day. It's taken me 8 years to come to terms with the fact that it's not anything I am doing wrong or not doing that is making me "not deserve" to get pregnant. Doesn't make it any easier, but, it's not my fault. It's not your fault either. The hardest part is putting my trust in the Lord, because I really don't understand his plan for me at all.
I'm game for a girls day out anytime, a relaxing massage is just what I need right now. Life has been chaotic, stressful, and just down right "down" lately. Sounds like you're in the same boat. So, whenever you're ready, let me know.
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